Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
