Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
