you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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