She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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