My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
