i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
