Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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