Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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