yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
