We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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