How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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