he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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