scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
