Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
this just has baby written all over it
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
