summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
