I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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