I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
