ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
