at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
