i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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