smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
