You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
