You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
