I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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