im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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