Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
