Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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