eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
