i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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