The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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