Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
