plz talk dirty to me
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
