so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
