Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
