also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
