porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
