his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
