my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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