He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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