bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
