Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
