Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
