thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
