Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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