I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
