it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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