Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
