Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We are two peas in an std pod
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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