all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
