the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
