K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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