so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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